May, 2016 / Author:

219-24-losing-my-religion

I have not lost my faith in the Creator; only in the men who decide what should be accepted.

I was raised Catholic, and I was a good Catholic boy. I did all the sacraments. I went to church. Not every Sunday, but I went. I got married in a Catholic church and raised my boys in the Catholic religion, where they did all the sacraments and we went to church. Well, not every Sunday, but we went.

Though I questioned some of the things we were taught, I followed the religion the way it was laid out for me.

Then something happened. In 2010, I started my life as a woman. It was a hard three-year battle for me, where I had to go against everything I was taught, but the message was clear. In order to avoid suicide, I had to transition from man to woman. And I have never been happier.

Though I didn’t regret my decision, I started to lose faith in the church. The Vatican said it was a sin to be homosexual or transgender, and since I know I’m a good person, I felt that maybe the Vatican was losing faith in me.

The church was formed by men who interpreted what they believed God wanted. How they knew this, I don’t know. I’m sure God did not talk to them. They said they got this message from the Bible. But the Bible was written by men who interpreted what they believed God wanted.

Pope Francis, the current pope, now says we must accept people who are gay, as they are regular people and should be encouraged to return to the church. I thought that maybe we finally got a pope who understands us. But he went further to say that we should keep the gender that God gave us because He never makes mistakes. So, according to the current pope, I have sinned, and since I have had surgery to change my gender, I will never be allowed to return to the church. Another person who seems to think they know what God wants. Maybe God has provided doctors with the ability to change people’s genders, and that is His gift to us.

So, I am not allowed in the church, but I still believe in the Creator, and whether you want to call him God, Al- lah, Earth Mother or the Great Spirit, He is all the same. And the messages that are taught by his prophets (Jesus, Mohammed, and Buddha, to name a few) are also all the same: share peace and love, and treat others the way you want to be treated.

I now live by the belief that every living thing has a spirit, and we should treat every spirit the way we want to be treated. I treat everyone with respect and love, and thus, I live in peace. I have not lost my faith in the Creator; I have only lost faith in the men who decide what should be accepted in His name. And I say “men” because there are no women in any church hierarchy. And when I say, “God bless you,” I really mean “May you be blessed with all the love and peace that is in the universe.”

God bless you.


–Rikki Dubois is a transgendered writer from Winnipeg. Her book “Mu y was Flu y” helps children understand what it means to be transgender. Find her online at rikkidubois.co.nr

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One Response to “Losing My Religion”

  1. Stephen

    Hi Rikki. Thanks for sharing your story of rejecting the evil in religion but not losing your own positivity and spirituality. I love the meaning you put behind “God Bless You”!

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