Religious organizations have had mixed feelings about GLBT communities throughout history, from outright hate, to grudging acceptance, to celebration. Many members of the queer community were raised in a religious home, and many more have come to various religions and spiritualities as they have aged. That includes people who are asexual.
Jay Ron was raised in a Jewish household, but considers himself to be secular these days. He still holds many of his family’s Judaic beliefs, such as believing everything happens for a reason and that all things and people have a purpose in life. He knows he is here for a reason, and as such has a sense of peace regarding his sexuality: “For some reason, I lack sexual attraction,” Ron says. “I am content and satisfied for what I am.” Today his upbringing and teachings have become a core part of his values, and his beliefs have given him a feeling of selfsatisfaction for his identity.
Julia Dietz was raised in a Christian family and remains a member of the religion. She says the stories she heard in Sunday school and summer camps made her feel full of faith, hope and love. Asexuality is not something taught in Christian communities, and during high school she used religion as her reason to not have sex. As she got older she realized it had little to do with her religion. She just didn’t find anyone sexually attractive. Dietz’s beliefs have given her the hope and strength to get through even the most dire of circumstances and have given her the desire to help others. “My beliefs give me a reason to live, and also a reason not to fear death,” she says.
Rebecca is a member of Forn Sidr, the Danish Asatru organization. Members believe in the Aesir (the Norse gods), and all of the other elements of Norse mythology. They get their ethical beliefs from the Norse collection Hávamál, which reminds followers to value careful- ness and hospitality, and to be a good person. Rebecca began following Asatru before she discovered her asexuality. Since discovering it, she has become more devout. Speaking with the Aesir brings her a sense of peace. She speaks most often to Gefjon, the goddess of unmarried women. “It’s important to me that I don’t belong to a religion where I feel that to be a good believer, I have to get married and have children, as that’s not something I’m interested in.” Rebecca experimented with many religions before finding Forn Sidr. “It just hit me that it was right—it felt like the truth.” Rebecca struggled with depression for many years, and the Aesir have helped her feel grounded and have enabled her to find herself again.
Some people who are asexual are able to find a welcoming home in their chosen religion, whether it’s the space where they grew up or the one that they chose later in life.
–Zak Hiscock is an asexual writer and blogger living in Saskatchewan. You can nd his vlogs at: youtube.com/shran100, and follow him on Twitter @zakitudevlogs.